A wedding and a funeral

I want to start out by saying that I’ve never had anyone close to me die, knock on wood. When I was in junior high my granny died. I do remember being moved by her death, but honestly, she had lived a good life. Her husband had passed a good while previous and I remember thinking it was her time to go. I hope that doesn’t sound cold, I don’t mean it to, it’s just sometimes I think death can be a good thing. I’ve never had a friend die or anyone I was close to really. So maybe I don’t understand. And I freely admit that I don’t know what its like, how it feels, and I don’t mean to make light of death. This is just something that came into my mind as I was talking with a friend, and it’s been rolling around in my head ever since.

As I said, I was talking to a friend recently. We were asking the obligatory questions that friends ask after a long absence from seeing each other. I asked him how his break was and he responded that it was both good and bad. He had gone to a wedding of a good friend and had taken part in the joy that weddings bring. He also said he attended the funeral of a good friend who had tragically and suddenly died.

After the initial shock that comes with news like that, I found myself waxing philosophically in my mind about wedding and funerals. The rest of the night and into the next week my mind kept returning to a wedding and a funeral.

I have never been married so I can’t say what exactly what it feels like to actually get married. But I have attended many weddings of friends and family. I must say, I quite enjoy weddings. Especially if I know the bride and groom really well. I can live vicariously through their joy and excitement. And weddings mean that stupid ‘one hop, two hop’ song is sure to be played. Everybody likes that song, I can’t even dance but I can do that one. As long as there is somebody telling me what to do I’m good. When I am left to my own imagination and my two left feet is when things go tragically wrong. Trust me, there are pictures out there somewhere.

But the excitement is the part that I really like. I can imagine the joy the bride and groom must feel. Think about it, you go through your whole life a lone waiting, searching, hoping, for that one person who completes you. When the bride and groom come to this realization much planning and thought goes into the culmination of these feeling and experiences, the wedding. The day finally comes, the reward for each other’s faithfulness up to this point, but also symbolizing the faithfulness that is to follow the rest of their lives together. In some ways the wedding is the apex of the relationship. Everything has been building up until this important day. But it does not stop there. Though it is the culmination of their individual search for each other, the wedding symbolizes a new journey. A journey that is lived intimately and in mutual enjoyment with each other. Life from then on is spent exploring the depths of each other in a way that cannot be done until marriage. Weddings are happy events, maybe the most joyous events we will partake in outside of heaven.

Funerals by contrast are not as happy. In fact, usually funerals mean a whole lot of sadness for those involved. A marriage is something to look forward to, but a funeral is something we all hope we never have to attend. Funerals symbolize remembering. Remembering a person and a life that was meaningful. The person who has died is no longer with us, no longer alive. I think most of the time we are not sad for the person who had died, we are sad for the people who are left behind. This might change a little if the person was young and in the prime of their lives, but for the most part we aren’t sad for the person. Funerals symbolize the ending of a journey, the last page in the story. It’s the end.

But I am struck by how similar weddings and funerals are. This is especially if the person who dies knows the Lord. We tend to think of weddings as celebrations and funerals as tragedies. But I don’t think that is true, both events are celebrations. When a person dies their life on earth ends, but they are united with Christ! I can just picture it. Jesus waiting for us in heaven. Then there is the dramatic scene of the chapel doors flinging open as the bride walks down the aisle to be united with her beloved. Friends and family members who have gone before us are there waiting, cheering us on at our real ‘wedding’. After the wedding we have a huge party in which all of heaven is invited. Maybe they will play that stupid hop song too. From here on out the bride and the bride groom live forever together in mutual delight of one another. In this way, funereal are also the final culmination of our lives where in we shouldn’t think about what was lost, but about what was gained.

So maybe funerals are a lot like weddings.